Saturday, May 31, 2008

I went to my 25th college reunion and all I had was a nice time

I thought it would be more earth-shattering, life-changing and revealing of the true meaning of life. Instead, I had a good time.

Which is good too...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The calm before graduation

Lessons learned at my college reunion

Lesson #1: The people who were nice then are still nice and the people who were snobs are still snobs. People don't change.

Corollary: Those that do change a little bit change for the better. No one gets worse. That's a bit of good news.

Lesson #2: My son doesn't mind being bored if it's just the two of us, but he doesn't like being bored with others.

Because I didn't want to pay top dollar for a hotel room, I stayed in the dorms. The bathrooms were, as they have always been, down the hall.

Lesson #3: I don't like using a bathroom down the hall.

Corollary: There's always someone else in the bathroom with you. Even at 6 in the morning, and you know these people were out drinking all night! I can't do bathroom stuff with other people in there, not anymore!!

On the other hand, my son didn't mind the bathroom situation at all. He'd announce, "I'm going to the bathroom!" Okay.

Monday, May 19, 2008


We were watching the snail races on Spongebob and Gary spins out of control and hits the tire wall, and I said to my son, "This is just like Formula 1."

And he says, "Yes, but this is more dangerous."

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Disaster averted

So, it doesn't look bad, I can definitely show up at work. Phew. I guess.

Only thing is I didn't get all the gray out. Not sure why. Might have to try again. Also the color is a bit dark and a bit too reddish, so I might try a slightly different shade.

Going to my college reunion on Friday, so I need to get this project completed by then...

Desperately seeking younger better looking self

I did it, I colored my hair.

It's still wet so I don't know what it will look like yet. I hope I can face work tomorrow, that's my bare minimum hope. Actually, that's my only hope.

I used to go to meetings with 10-20-50 women in the room, and I was always the only one who didn't color her hair. So I finally did it.


My son is playing, and I use the term loosely, baseball. This is the first year of kid-pitch and he's discovered... the walk!

"How'd you do?"

"I got a walk!" He beams. That's a good game.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Two signs

I saw these two signs on the side of the road:

Earn CEO-level income working from home!


Free horse manure

Which is the biggest load of it?
What is CEO-level income anyway? Is it an exact figure or just new terminology for a king's ransom?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

When bad stuff happens to good employees

My friend called me from Europe tonight, she's there for work. We talked about bad things that happen at work, how no one talks about them to friends and family, it's sort of a dark secret.

Kind of like a bad marriage, people don't talk about it then suddenly they get divorced and everyone says, "What happened?" Same thing at work, suddenly someone is let go, and everyone says, "What happened?" Horrible stuff.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Piano recital

I went to my son's piano recital. He played Camptown Races, if that's the right name, and Ode to Joy, which I love.

The way it was set up his music was in front of his face, so all I could see in a narrow band below the music and above the keyboard were his little pudgy fingers.

At first I wondered why they set it up so we couldn't see their faces, but then it occurred to me that these folks at this music school leave nothing to chance, and it was probably so the kids wouldn't be distracted. He told me later that he had been a little nervous; I told him that was okay, that everyone gets a little nervous. Seems like good practice for the really nerve-wracking things that happen later in life, but I didn't tell him that, although I believe it.

Then he got a trophy and two cookies. One of the other kids asked for the cookies during the program.

I told him afterwards that I was very proud of him and that as a reward he gets to remain my son. He said, "Yeah, that's the best award!" So there you go. When the gypsies call to take him off my hands, I'll have to push them off again...

Monday, May 12, 2008

Dreamy... part deux

Amazing but true: I dreamed about John Krasinski again. And this time, no Pam!...

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Spongebob and Patrick enter pod races

With Squidward as pit crew.

More permission

"Can I borrow the spatula for my Krusty Krab?"


You know that when he decides he wants to juggle some knives he won't ask for permission first because he'll know he won't receive it.

Saturday, May 10, 2008


My son had his friend over and he calls me, "Mammaaaaaa!"


"Can I give him 9 cents?"

What? Okay, could he possibly really be asking me if he can give his friend 9 cents, or am I about to agree to something that I will regret stupendously really soon? It can't be about 9 cents. Think! What could it be?

Bird bath

My mother had this brilliant idea to make a bird bath as an activity for her and my son, so she did, using a plant stand and a pasta bowl.

Not only is it completely unattractive aesthetically to humans, but it hasn't attracted a single bird either. Does anyone know what makes a bird bath a bird bath?

Really boring

My son asked me last night, "Mamma, what do you do at work?"

I said, "I talk on the phone and type on the computer."

He said, "That's really boring."

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Very odd coincidences

These things happen to me all the time, and today's was a really odd one indeed.

I was watching CSI and Grissom said, "Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, such as when you find a trout in the milk. Henry David Thoreau." Now, I have absolutely no idea what that means, I don't get it at all, but don't you know I saw the same exact quote earlier today?!

That is NOT a common quote. I don't think it is.

Then I had to figure out where I might have seen it, and it's in a library book called "Uncertain Peril" about genetic engineering.

How completely odd.

Way too much information

I'm not a friendly person but for some reason people talk to me.

Yesterday at my son's baseball game (a whole other story, but not the topic here) I met a woman who within a half hour--before the game had even started--told me that she was one of 14 children, that she was a twin, that her twin sister lives in Altoona, that her mother read cards, that she knew when her husband was going to die, that he spoke to her when she was in a car wreck and that her grandson was the catcher.

I was completely fascinated by her, in fact, and only later did I think that maybe it was TMI.

Borrowing to unborrow

It's a fact that when you borrow something you usually have to return it. I borrowed a desk from my mother and father years ago and recently they decided they needed it back.

So I asked the spouse from whom I'm free to borrow his truck to return the desk--I would give him my car in exchange for the time period in question, so he's not stranded. Not such a complex request for anyone else, but a difficult one for the King of Nonsensical Explanations.

A sampler of the type of crap he can come up with:
"You can't borrow the truck because I have to get eggs."
"You can't borrow the truck because I have to go to Philadelphia."
"You can't borrow the truck because I might go kayaking in three weeks."

Which is all a version of: "You can't borrow it but I'm not sure why and I can't think of a good reason but there must be one so here, here's one that popped into my head..."

I finally asked him enough times that he ran out of his kingdom's currency... and so that too is now done. Desk returned!

I think it was Ben Frank who said: neither a borrower nor a lender be. But that would not work at all, for anyone.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Get your reunion now!

This is the latest email solicitation from our college class president--does it seem at all dignified and appropriate to you?

Never mind the offense to Hartford, which I'm sure is a fine city, but doesn't this read like a pitch for a phone card?

Get your reunion tickets and your room !
ONLY 3 Days Until
Late Fees are Added and Room Reservations Close!
(Or then you'll have to stay in Hartford!)

After this Monday, May 5th, at midnight:
- reunion registration ends without incurring a LATE FEE &
- dorm room reservations will close to all registrations!
Now is the time to register.
Don't delay.

Bad grammar too! Hmph!