My Mamma

Bodrum

2010-03-03T05:31:00.002-05:00

Herodotus was from Halicarnassus and the author of the book The Way of Herodotus, Justin Marozzi, visits there, now called Bodrum. It's now a posh resort and he's sort of put off by the place.

I am looking through an old House & Garden magazine this morning and there's a little travel piece on Bodrum and how fabulously glamorous it is.

Lots and lots of snow............

2010-02-10T20:17:00.000-05:00

Lesser evils

2010-02-06T20:18:00.001-05:00

My son was harassing me about wanting to go to the store to buy a Lego set. "Can we go to the store to buy a Lego set? Pleeeeeease." So I told him, "Watch TV." So now whenever he wants to watch TV he asks for a Lego set.

Yoda and Herodotus

2010-01-23T05:24:00.002-05:00

Yoda: Teach yourself to let go of the things you fear to lose.

Herodotus: He tells a story of the tyrant of Samos who was very fortunate. The king of Egypt advised him to get rid of his most prized possession to protect his good fortune, so the tyrant did--he threw his most precious ring in the sea. The ring was fished out by chance and brought back to him. At that point the king of Egypt did not want to be his friend anymore because the tyrant's downfall was now sure and the king didn't want to have to feel bad for him. And yes sure enough the tyrant was soon after killed.

Booth and employee surveys

2010-01-20T20:21:00.002-05:00

Booth: "I would know if she loved me."

Employee surveys: you would know if your employees loved you.

Another John Krasinski dream

2010-01-16T20:16:00.003-05:00

We worked together and he asked if I wanted to have dinner. And I sort of had to pick between him and another guy and I was definitely leaning towards him.

Sisters and shawls

2010-01-15T20:10:00.002-05:00

I'm making my mother a shawl because she mentioned in passing that her sister has ten of them--meaning that she doesn't have ten. I asked my own sister some styling advice, whether I should use an accent color, and she said, "You know she won't like it anyway." Because my mother never likes anything and has been known to reject--yes, reject--gifts.

I showed it to my mother and... she didn't like it. She said she likes things with sleeves.

I told my sister and she said, "And you're shocked!" She told me so.

Glistening foods

2010-01-11T20:41:00.004-05:00

A break from the routine

2010-01-11T20:37:00.001-05:00

I put whipped cream on my son's hot chocolate instead of mini marshmallows. He was very pleased--he still displays joy freely.

The Delaware Water Gap

2010-01-09T17:59:00.001-05:00

Route 80 runs through it.

December 31st, 1979

2009-12-31T21:02:00.001-05:00

There was a That 70s Show episode on tonight that took place on December 31st, 1979. I remember where I was on December 31st, 1979.

Present from my son

2009-12-27T08:46:00.003-05:00

He said he picked the prettiest bug.

Overheard from an Admin

2009-12-24T08:16:00.003-05:00

"You know I don't care about money and all that stuff but he's my boss and you know what he gave me for Christmas? A box of Lindt chocolates, that's $7, and [inaudible], that's $15. He spent $20!"

Clearly, that was too little to spend on her.

My son the child of divorce's Christmas lists

2009-12-20T16:40:00.003-05:00

At his father's house:
1. Lego Batman-Arkham Asylum set
2. Lego Indiana Jones-Temple of Doom set
3. Lego Batman-The Batcave set
4. Lego Indiana Jones “The Adventure Continues” video game for PlayStation 2
5. Lego Star Wars “The Complete Saga” video game for PlayStation 2
6. Lego Batman-Bane and The Riddler’s Hide-out set
7. Lego Batman-The Joker’s Ice Cream Truck set
8. Lego Star Wars The Clone Wars-Assassin Droid Speeder set
9. Lego Star Wars The Clone Wars-Anakin and Ashoka’s Y-wing fighter set
10. Lego Star Wars The Clone Wars-Pirate tank set
11. Lego Indiana Jones-Campsite Duel set
12. The “Marvel Superhero Squad” video game for PlayStation 2
13. Lego Spongebob- Good Neighbours at Bikini Bottom set
14. Lego Spongebob- Build-A-Bob set
15. Lego Spongebob- Emergency Room set
16. Lego Star Wars- Midi-scale Millennium Falcon.

And at my house:
1. Lego Star Wars- Death Star set
2. Lego Star Wars- The Battle of Endor set
3. Transformers- Optimus Prime
4. Transformers- Metroplex
5. Transformers- Wing Saber
6. Transformers- Leobreaker
7. Transformers- Cybertron Defense Hotshot
8. Transformers- Megatron
9. Transformers- Starscream
10. Transformers- Crumplezone
11. Transformers- Dark Crumplezone
12. Transformers- Ransack
13. Transformers- Ransack GTS
14. Transformers- Scourge
15. Transformers- Nemesis Breaker
16. Transformers- Undermine
17. Transformers- Menasor

He knows he won't get everything but he believes that the more he puts in the more he will get, and every year he puts in more and gets a smaller percentage.

Serious Jedi insult

2009-12-10T06:38:00.000-05:00

You think with your light saber.

I like being the boy that I am

2009-12-09T07:16:00.001-05:00

My son.
What kind of boy are you?
You know, nice... friendly...

Because I would not stop for gas

2009-12-03T06:56:00.002-05:00

it kindly stopped for me.

Funny things

2009-12-01T18:58:00.001-05:00

are sometimes sad.
Sad things are never funny.

There's always someone

2009-12-01T18:56:00.001-05:00

who wants you to do something different.
Or at least differently.

I dreamed about John Kraskinski again!

2008-06-09T06:53:00.002-04:00

And I really don't spend that much waking time thinking about him. Really!

This time it was a long dream. Pam was pestering him about their future together and I was needling them, "Isn't it great to think about the future?"

Then Michael decided to go on a road trip to a village in the French countryside, the most adorable village, and we all drank wine at an outdoor cafe.

Stop complaining!

2008-06-08T11:21:00.005-04:00

When I take my son to baseball, I listen to the other moms, and my goodness they complain a lot! About everything and most especially everyone. How everyone is doing things not the way they think they should be done.

I hate that.

I have to say the moms complain much more than the dads. They also talk more in general, so it may just be their complaints get more air time.

This past game he didn't do as well, he was up twice and struck out both times. But he seemed okay with it. He has low expectations of himself...

Baseball victories

2008-06-03T19:01:00.002-04:00

My son had baseball last night, and he's not an aggressive/athletic kid, so usually he holds out for walks. Well, last night he had two walks and also two hits, and he scored two runs, stole a base, did lots of stuff. It was actually fun to watch him play, which is novel to me, normally I am in pain the entire time.

One time he did mess up, he was on second base and started running with no place to go. He managed to get back to the base safely, and then in the silent sort-of-horror that ensued, because it had in fact been a traumatic two-seconds, I hear the coach's voice, loud, clear: "Stay on the base! DON'T MOVE!!"

After the game, and this was his best game ever, he comes running to me, and all he had to say was, "Look, I got snacks!"

My arms ache

2008-06-01T19:38:00.003-04:00

I read somewhere about someone who loved what she did so much that it took over her life so she stopped doing it, and now she started it up again on a slower scale. It applied to crafts, but it can apply to so much. I can so much relate to that.

For example, now I'm working on my garden and my arms are so tired and sore that I'm having a tough time typing. Tomorrow at work where I do nothing but talking on the phone and typing is going to be very rough...

Pace yourself...

I went to my 25th college reunion and all I had was a nice time

2008-05-31T19:38:00.000-04:00

I thought it would be more earth-shattering, life-changing and revealing of the true meaning of life. Instead, I had a good time.

Which is good too...

The calm before graduation

2008-05-28T19:23:00.001-04:00

Lessons learned at my college reunion

2008-05-28T19:11:00.004-04:00

Lesson #1: The people who were nice then are still nice and the people who were snobs are still snobs. People don't change.

Corollary: Those that do change a little bit change for the better. No one gets worse. That's a bit of good news.

Lesson #2: My son doesn't mind being bored if it's just the two of us, but he doesn't like being bored with others.

Because I didn't want to pay top dollar for a hotel room, I stayed in the dorms. The bathrooms were, as they have always been, down the hall.

Lesson #3: I don't like using a bathroom down the hall.

Corollary: There's always someone else in the bathroom with you. Even at 6 in the morning, and you know these people were out drinking all night! I can't do bathroom stuff with other people in there, not anymore!!

On the other hand, my son didn't mind the bathroom situation at all. He'd announce, "I'm going to the bathroom!" Okay.

Racing

2008-05-19T20:12:00.001-04:00

We were watching the snail races on Spongebob and Gary spins out of control and hits the tire wall, and I said to my son, "This is just like Formula 1."

And he says, "Yes, but this is more dangerous."

Disaster averted

2008-05-18T14:32:00.002-04:00

So, it doesn't look bad, I can definitely show up at work. Phew. I guess.

Only thing is I didn't get all the gray out. Not sure why. Might have to try again. Also the color is a bit dark and a bit too reddish, so I might try a slightly different shade.

Going to my college reunion on Friday, so I need to get this project completed by then...

Desperately seeking younger better looking self

2008-05-18T13:46:00.003-04:00

I did it, I colored my hair.

It's still wet so I don't know what it will look like yet. I hope I can face work tomorrow, that's my bare minimum hope. Actually, that's my only hope.

I used to go to meetings with 10-20-50 women in the room, and I was always the only one who didn't color her hair. So I finally did it.

Success

2008-05-18T08:57:00.004-04:00

My son is playing, and I use the term loosely, baseball. This is the first year of kid-pitch and he's discovered... the walk!

"How'd you do?"

"I got a walk!" He beams. That's a good game.

Two signs

2008-05-17T16:04:00.004-04:00

I saw these two signs on the side of the road:

Earn CEO-level income working from home!

and

Free horse manure

Which is the biggest load of it?
What is CEO-level income anyway? Is it an exact figure or just new terminology for a king's ransom?

When bad stuff happens to good employees

2008-05-15T19:36:00.004-04:00

My friend called me from Europe tonight, she's there for work. We talked about bad things that happen at work, how no one talks about them to friends and family, it's sort of a dark secret.

Kind of like a bad marriage, people don't talk about it then suddenly they get divorced and everyone says, "What happened?" Same thing at work, suddenly someone is let go, and everyone says, "What happened?" Horrible stuff.

Piano recital

2008-05-13T19:17:00.005-04:00

I went to my son's piano recital. He played Camptown Races, if that's the right name, and Ode to Joy, which I love.

The way it was set up his music was in front of his face, so all I could see in a narrow band below the music and above the keyboard were his little pudgy fingers.

At first I wondered why they set it up so we couldn't see their faces, but then it occurred to me that these folks at this music school leave nothing to chance, and it was probably so the kids wouldn't be distracted. He told me later that he had been a little nervous; I told him that was okay, that everyone gets a little nervous. Seems like good practice for the really nerve-wracking things that happen later in life, but I didn't tell him that, although I believe it.

Then he got a trophy and two cookies. One of the other kids asked for the cookies during the program.

I told him afterwards that I was very proud of him and that as a reward he gets to remain my son. He said, "Yeah, that's the best award!" So there you go. When the gypsies call to take him off my hands, I'll have to push them off again...

Dreamy... part deux

2008-05-12T20:55:00.001-04:00

Amazing but true: I dreamed about John Krasinski again. And this time, no Pam!...

Spongebob and Patrick enter pod races

2008-05-11T10:04:00.002-04:00

With Squidward as pit crew.

More permission

2008-05-11T10:03:00.002-04:00

"Can I borrow the spatula for my Krusty Krab?"

Okay.

You know that when he decides he wants to juggle some knives he won't ask for permission first because he'll know he won't receive it.

Permission

2008-05-10T12:45:00.003-04:00

My son had his friend over and he calls me, "Mammaaaaaa!"

"What?"

"Can I give him 9 cents?"

What? Okay, could he possibly really be asking me if he can give his friend 9 cents, or am I about to agree to something that I will regret stupendously really soon? It can't be about 9 cents. Think! What could it be?

Bird bath

2008-05-10T09:57:00.002-04:00

My mother had this brilliant idea to make a bird bath as an activity for her and my son, so she did, using a plant stand and a pasta bowl.

Not only is it completely unattractive aesthetically to humans, but it hasn't attracted a single bird either. Does anyone know what makes a bird bath a bird bath?

Really boring

2008-05-10T09:56:00.000-04:00

My son asked me last night, "Mamma, what do you do at work?"

I said, "I talk on the phone and type on the computer."

He said, "That's really boring."

Very odd coincidences

2008-05-04T19:41:00.002-04:00

These things happen to me all the time, and today's was a really odd one indeed.

I was watching CSI and Grissom said, "Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, such as when you find a trout in the milk. Henry David Thoreau." Now, I have absolutely no idea what that means, I don't get it at all, but don't you know I saw the same exact quote earlier today?!

That is NOT a common quote. I don't think it is.

Then I had to figure out where I might have seen it, and it's in a library book called "Uncertain Peril" about genetic engineering.

How completely odd.

Way too much information

2008-05-04T13:31:00.004-04:00

I'm not a friendly person but for some reason people talk to me.

Yesterday at my son's baseball game (a whole other story, but not the topic here) I met a woman who within a half hour--before the game had even started--told me that she was one of 14 children, that she was a twin, that her twin sister lives in Altoona, that her mother read cards, that she knew when her husband was going to die, that he spoke to her when she was in a car wreck and that her grandson was the catcher.

I was completely fascinated by her, in fact, and only later did I think that maybe it was TMI.

Borrowing to unborrow

2008-05-04T12:44:00.006-04:00

It's a fact that when you borrow something you usually have to return it. I borrowed a desk from my mother and father years ago and recently they decided they needed it back.

So I asked the spouse from whom I'm free to borrow his truck to return the desk--I would give him my car in exchange for the time period in question, so he's not stranded. Not such a complex request for anyone else, but a difficult one for the King of Nonsensical Explanations.

A sampler of the type of crap he can come up with:
"You can't borrow the truck because I have to get eggs."
"You can't borrow the truck because I have to go to Philadelphia."
"You can't borrow the truck because I might go kayaking in three weeks."

Which is all a version of: "You can't borrow it but I'm not sure why and I can't think of a good reason but there must be one so here, here's one that popped into my head..."

I finally asked him enough times that he ran out of his kingdom's currency... and so that too is now done. Desk returned!

I think it was Ben Frank who said: neither a borrower nor a lender be. But that would not work at all, for anyone.

Get your reunion now!

2008-05-03T09:10:00.008-04:00

This is the latest email solicitation from our college class president--does it seem at all dignified and appropriate to you?

Never mind the offense to Hartford, which I'm sure is a fine city, but doesn't this read like a pitch for a phone card?

Get your reunion tickets and your room !
ONLY 3 Days Until
Late Fees are Added and Room Reservations Close!
(Or then you'll have to stay in Hartford!)

After this Monday, May 5th, at midnight:

- reunion registration ends without incurring a LATE FEE &

- dorm room reservations will close to all registrations!

Now is the time to register.

Don't delay.

WE NEED TO KNOW IF YOU ARE COMING

Bad grammar too! Hmph!

Dreamy...

2008-04-29T20:07:00.002-04:00

I dreamed of John Krasinski last night, and it seemed that he might like me more than Pam...

April is stress and anxiety awareness month

2008-04-28T21:01:00.004-04:00

I received this email from someone who won one of my eBay auctions:

"I have just won the bid on your item. I am interested in bidding on some other items you have for sale. How long would I have to continue bidding in order to have everything ship together to save on the shipping cost?" I replied and explained, I'm easy.

Five days later, from the same person: "I sent an e-mail about 30 minutes ago [actually, no] regarding combined shipping on more than one bid. I just saw paid for my item and at the end saw the note to wait to pay until finished bidding on all items. I have two questions: 1) how much time is allowed to continue bidding and wait to pay for all items 2) since I have just paid for my item - can I still bid on other items and will you still combine shipping - if so for how long can I continue to bid. Thank you in advance for your responses." Oh, my!! The stress in her tone! It's ok, whatever you want is fine, really. It's just me here...

And then, 10 days later, are you ready for a completely unexpected turn of events? Here goes: "I have completed my bidding. Please ship as soon as possible. My son's birthday is this coming week and we would like to receive them in time for his birthday. Please confirm via e-mail that the item has been shipped and the approximate arrival date. Thank you." Way to turn the stress completely around! I'm the one who's stressed now! Now I'm supposed to control the post office, I can't control when the package will get there, and the child's entire worldly happiness is in my hands... I... can't... take it!

Love "always"

2008-04-26T17:34:00.002-04:00

I was in the attic looking for something and I found this birthday card from the spouse from whom I'm now free. Note he professes eternal love, but the "always" is all scrunched in an inadequately small space. Probably a sign of things that were to come, had I read into it.

The red house is Snoopy's house. He was big on Snoopy cards.

Hate is so corrosive

2008-04-26T17:21:00.000-04:00

I don't believe in harboring negative emotions. I think that hate is more corrosive on the hater than on the hated, so I try to stay away from hate. But I hate our college class president!

We can't just get together because it might be fun, no, we have to beat an attendance record. So my attending the reunion makes her look good. Hate is so corrosive.

Work tears

2008-04-24T22:06:00.005-04:00

I took my son to Take our Daughters to Work. He wants to be a cartoonist when he grows up and I'm trying to present him with some possible alternatives, you know, office work.

They did a nice event for the kids, there were presentations on diversity and security, and a scavenger hunt, and he seemed to like that, we had lunch in the cafeteria, I introduced him to lots of people, and so on, and then he sat in my office and played Spongebob video games on the computer, which made him cry.

On the way out of the building I asked him if he might like to work in a place like that someday and he said yes and I asked him why, thinking, you know, was it the diversity, the security, the cafeteria, all the people, and he said: I liked playing on the computer. Which was the one thing about the day that made him cry!... And that's not what we do at work!... That wasn't the point!...

I ate a nice leftover conference room prosciutto sandwich. It was really delicious.

The flip side

2008-04-24T17:36:00.000-04:00

You know who hates free food? Mr. Krabs!

Infamy

2008-04-23T20:07:00.005-04:00

I'm famous in my office--and it's not good famous--for eating leftover conference room food. Yesterday I got the last tuna sandwich.

After that it was just roast beef sandwiches--no one eats roast beef. Not even me. It just sits there all afternoon.

Why do you stoop so low? you ask.

It's simple really, it's free and it's food, and I'm frugal and famished.

Why they invented cubicles

2008-04-23T07:00:00.002-04:00

I saw an episode of The Office where Dwight's desk is moved into the men's room. And that's why they invented cubicles.

You couldn't just move the desk, you'd have to move the whole cluster of 4 or 6 or 8 cubes and they wouldn't fit through the door, and before you've even finished thinking about it the fun has been totally sucked out.

Why I work

2008-04-21T21:18:00.001-04:00

Today I took the day off and did various things, had a nice day, until, dum-da-dum-dum-dah... because I was around, I had to take my son to both piano lessons and baseball practice.

So now I know why I work: so I don't have to do that.

Star Wars choices

2008-04-20T21:31:00.003-04:00

We are a Star Wars household. Six episodes just barely meet our Star Wars needs.

It's such a wonderful saga of underfunded good vs. Big Evil, but I still haven't figured out the important question: who's cuter, Anakin or Han Solo?

Home accomplishments

2008-04-20T19:07:00.007-04:00

Occasionally I like to pretend I run a good household.

Today I put some of the outdoor chairs outdoors, four of them. And I moved a bookcase upstairs. In the process I stepped on one of the sharp toys that are strewn on the floor, and it hurt--it happened to be the same foot I used yesterday to step on a thorn.

So in trying to be virtuous, my non-virtuous mess got me. There's a message in there somewhere.

Trip to the jungle

2008-04-19T11:58:00.007-04:00

My garden:

My mulch pile:

Shall the twain ever meet?

The history of these shots:

The small prop plane had to have been flying since the '30s, I was ready to puke, but it finally landed on a too-short grass strip in the middle of the jungle... no, no, that's the wrong story...

Here's the correct story:

I went outside in my bare feet because I forgot to put shoes on. Huh? How old am I? I forgot to wear shoes to go outside? Yes, that's what happened. I thought I would walk out to take the shot via the little path next to the barberry bushes, and I stepped on a thorn. It was quite painful, and I had to pull hard to get it out of my foot.

What's wrong with youth today

2008-04-19T07:47:00.004-04:00

My son woke up really early this morning, weekday-early, which misses the whole point of the weekend-sleep-in, and he says, "Did I miss fried dynamite, did I miss it?"

"What are you talking about?!?"

It's cartoons. Why would they name a cartoon program after something that's not good for you and something that's not good for anybody?

Prey

2008-04-18T21:32:00.002-04:00

I was sitting out on the deck and there was a fox walking through the back yard. It saw me and stopped and fixed me so intently that I started to feel like prey, or at least how I think prey would feel.

I started to wonder if it could run the 30 feet towards the deck and up a flight of deck stairs faster than I could get up from my chair, open the sliding door, go inside and close the sliding door behind me. I thought it might be a push.

So before it had a chance to decide to take me up on that telepathic that challenge, I got up and went inside.

Papal visit

2008-04-18T18:40:00.001-04:00

I was going to write this:
When you believe you are god's representative on earth, you may very well be one of many, but when 1 billion people believe you're god's rep on earth, now that is unique.

Then I heard on the radio the pope's visit to the synagogue, the kind words, about the nice gift he brought, and I was moved.

So there you go: from snide to teary-eyed is a short distance.

I've been approved for a soda

2008-04-18T18:38:00.001-04:00

Today I submitted $1.35 to the vending machine, which took my application, processed it, and approved me for a NEW lime diet coke.

I'm in once again!

I've been accepted to the dorm of my choice!

2008-04-17T20:40:00.003-04:00

I'm going to my college reunion this year and signed up to stay in the dorms because it's A LOT cheaper than a hotel.

I did not realize there was a formal application process and that I could have been... presumably... agh... rejected (!) until I received this email today from the Residential Life Office: "Your Reunion Housing Reservation Request has been approved." [Caps theirs.]

I've been accepted, I'm in!

All I have to do is pay $35,000... no, wait, that would be for tuition, it's just a few hundred bucks...

Birthday parties at work

2008-04-17T20:23:00.004-04:00

At my office there are monthly birthday parties for all the birthdays that fall during the month. There are maybe 6 or 7 honorees each month, some 100 people invited, about 100 square feet of sheet cake, and 8 people show up. The same 8 every month. Including me.

I call myself "Proud Sponsor and Fervent Supporter of the Monthly Birthday Celebration."

Annoyance

2008-04-16T21:09:00.004-04:00

The most annoying words on earth:
a) Make me.
b) Yeah, right.
c) And I should care because?
It's not multiple choice, it's all of the above.

Punic Wars

2008-04-16T20:16:00.001-04:00

I get library books for my father, who's retired, so he keeps busy instead of railing at the world. I got him a big 400-page book in tiny print on the Punic Wars, and don't you know it he knocked it out in two weeks flat!

Now he's railing about LIBOR. Don't ask.

Catholic teachers strike

2008-04-16T19:42:00.001-04:00

You'd think the Catholic schools and teachers would find another way to overcome their differences, something more conciliatory. You'd think they'd offer their other cheek or something.

My sister is the smartest person I know

2008-04-16T19:39:00.000-04:00

Not only is she smart, but she's totally dispassionate about her views, she tells it like she sees it, no hidden agenda.

So, anyway, I'm making homage to her because
a) she deserves it in a general way, and
b) she helped me authenticate the blog for the adsense to work.

That last one alone makes her a genius in my book.

Today

2008-04-16T07:04:00.000-04:00

I'm starting this today because today's date is all powers of two: 4, 16 and 8.
I didn't choose it from among 365 days a year, I just chose it among today, yesterday, and the day before.
An earlier blog I did started on my high school boyfriend's birthday, which no one knew but me.